idk

its happen recently, i think maybe last two month, i don't really know and understand my own feeling. i lost my appetite and keep saying food is yummy when its not. keep saying i'm okay when people asked " hey, how are you today". refuse to cry when i really want to cry. Calm my own self with closing my eyes for several minutes and then talk with my friend and even laugh.
i'm scared . with my own self. do i really becoming myself or becoming someone that people would comfortable when they around me? i keep annoyed people when i know they will be mad. i keep saying useless thing when i know they will never listen.
should i just.............